Things got better, I went through the downs of yesterday and even things are not perfect now, I'm starting to learn how to accept things the way they are and be happy about it.
Only myself is responsible for my own happiness. No one else.
It's not like I'm trying to become more optimistic, cause I think in a way, being optimistic is almost like lying to yourself about reality. And choose only to see the good side of things. That doesn't really get you anywhere cause you will end up seeing the bad sides and become depressed again. So I have learnt to have a bit more control on my mood ( I know that it's contradicting) Since I know what are the things that I can do to cheer myself up temporarily, to it can at least get me out of that depressed mood. And with a fresher mind and a calmer spirit, I can face the challenges once again.
Don't let things get to you. Cause once you do that, it's like if you are letting things get you mad slowly and not do anything about it, thinking that it will never really get me THAT mad, but you will be surprised to find out how mad you are, cause it's surprising how much a person can tolerate. So therefore, I think that next time, when things are getting slowly worse and worse through the day, the first thing to do is to NOT think that "this is just gona be another bad day". Cuz the day is not over yet! What to do is: spoil yourself with little things until you are better.
Don't talk to people. I know that this might sound wrong cuz everyone think that you should talk to people about your feelings so that they can cheer you up and stuff, but I think when I'm in a mood like that I will 90% say things that I don't mean to hopefully intentionally hurt other people to make them taste a bit of bitterness of what I'm feeling right now. When I'm bitter, I'm bitter. Angry at the world and life sucks. You would probably deny and say that you would NEVER do anything to intentionally hurt people, then you will be surprised once you really do and don't tell me that I didn't warn you. There's no point talking to people cause you would not only regret the things you say and you know that they won't understand you cause you don't even understand yourself!
You are not a super hero. I tend to have that problem a lot. I sometimes plan my day to the minute and that is really bad. Cause when you are planning, you will be asking yourself questions like: How long will I need to study this class? 3 hours. So from 3-6pm: Electrophysiology. Then, I would need 2 hours of this other class and so on... But all these times are measured from my past studying experiences when I was at my best performance. So when I actually execute my plans, it's more much more tiring then I thought and I would always try to finish my plans cause I would blame myself for being lazy and procastinating. I got to accept the fact that I am human!
Open your ears for encouragement. Wether they are from God, friends or bf, listen to them. I was so mad that I felt like even God wasn't even there with me anymore and even God doesn't understand me no more, but I was actually the one who is refusing Him to help me and give me strength. It's like after a marathon, I'm dying of fatigue and thirst, and all I can feel is my head spinning. And someone offers me a bottle of water and I tell him: "Leave me alone! Don't talk or give me anything, can't you see that I am dying of thirst? You would never understand how I feel!!!"
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