Tough week coming up

My schedule this week is just too crazy! I'm like so scared.. Pharmacology exam in 3 days! and im not ready at all! It's so scary that I feel like crying.. =(

Last night, Posner stayed and worked on my computer until I fell asleep. It felt so nice! and he gave me an amazing hug too last night and for a moment, i never wanted it to end. =D My boyfriend is awesome and he gives the best hugs in the world!!

Yesterday, I was so happy! I got a snail from Cloris and I got lunch from Auntie! and and I got lunch for today from Auntie Betty! Aren't I the luckiest girl in the world?! And then, I got to see my baby afterwards for the rest of the night~ and he spoke cantonese to me!! =D

I'm feeling more and more comfortable with him, and I've never felt this way before. It's like I'm still sometimes shy around him, especially if he looks at me and starts staring. I just don't know what to do when he does that. haha but at the same time, I feel like I can just tell him everything. And things that dont just limit to what I did today and what i want to do tomorrow, but also like how I think about certain things, my opinion on ppl and events.. I'm not scared of him thinking that I'm weird or that he might judge me, cuz I know for sure that he doesn't. I don't know what was the turning point in this relationship, but I appreciate it so much more than before. I feel like I'm closer to him in every way, and that he truly cares about me. Sometimes, he gets me really mad when he thinks that he knows what I want or just assume a lot of things. It really gets to me and I know that I'm mad, and I can't do anything to un-mad myself. Which is really annoying too, like i know that he's trying to apologize and make me laugh, but I just can't stop being mad and being all cranky. It's so hard to just cheer up like that. and I hate it when it happens to me!

Anyway, overall, I think despite that my life is so miserable in terms of school, I'm happy that things are doing great between me and posner. But I hope that I'm not the only one thinking like this..

I'm back!

Yes, I figured that it doesn't matter what exactly I post here, as long as it makes me happy. And for some reason, i just really felt like blogging today haha I might keep it as a diary or something so that I won't forget some memoriable events =D

So recently, things have been going extremely well with popo =D I love following him around even when we're doing absolutely nothing, just knowing that I'm with him makes me happy. I have missed him a lot these past few days cuz i didn't get to see him as much I wished. but it just makes the times that we actually do see each other even more precious. haha

Other than that, things have not been doing so well lately:

-parents wanting me to break up

-over loaded schedule

-lots of observation to fill in

-the stress of starting youth fellowship

-piano practice

These are all the chores that I have to do, but theres still tons of things that I want to do like seeing my friends, cleaning up, cooking etc..

I just bought a cookbook and im veryyy excited to try some of them! they all look so good!

Doris is leaving on may1st so we are now planning to make her a surprise party at her place =D

The 29th will be another party with Val and Sophie, so that should be interesting LOL

I'll be moving soon to my new appartment and I am EXTREMELY excited haha I'm still hesitating on wether i should find a 2nd job at like second cup or rockaberry, i dont want myself to dieee but like, i need the money and it should be fun too haha

Back to earth

I know that I have been really up in the air lately and that I have so many plans in my head, but I am happy that I was brought back to earth yesterday and face everything one thing at a time. Even though there is a lot to face, but I really believe that if I rely on His strength, there's nothing that I can't do because everything is for Him and He will definitely provide. I just got to worry about my part, do one thing at a time and perform the best that I can. A new week has started already, and this week won't be any easier than last week, but I am ready to face it and I know that I am equipped to do it too. I am not afraid cause He is my rock and I'll show the world how reliable He is and how he can make the impossible possible. So, off I go! =D

"I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. " psalm 121

He is faithful.

Dear blog,

Time passes so fast and this week just flew by so quickly. Today I will serve wholeheartedly and I give Him everything that I have. I emailed everyone about the youth fellowship, but I still have got no replies from any co-workers, only from my own friends that encourage me and support me. Even though that it feels like I am all alone in all this, but I know that God has His timing and he will make the wisest decision when the time comes. I completely leave everything under His care and I know that he is faithful. I can feel His presence and I am at peace and joyful. I have a feeling that February is going to be really tough and I have a really strong feeling that something bad might just happen at my busiest time, but I just need to cling to God and He will be there to catch me if ever I fall. I know that I have been recently putting on a lot of time in friends, service, and haven't really worried too much of my academic work. So this upcoming week, I will focus on that and perform the best that I possibly can.

Concerning going back home, I really don't know what to do about it anymore, I just learnt that my exam has advanced a week, so that makes it impossible for me to go back home that weekend. But I know that they are well and I will keep them in my prayers.

Ever since the last talk that I had with po, I feel like I am willing to understand him more and worry less about my selfish needs. Before, I always get grumpy when I don't get what I want, but now, I am happy to do what he wants, cause now I understand why he makes those decisions, and most of the time, even if i don't want to admit it, they are wiser than mine.

one more challenge down!

Get along with his friends - Check!

=)

So happy!

Hi bloggybird! haha Today I am extremely happy! Nothing special happened, but I'm just feeling awesome! I woke up before my alarm again and I was able to reply patiently to all of my emails while putting lots of thoughts into them. Before leaving home I was able to do so much things that I never thought I was able to do in the short period of time in the morning before leaving for class. At school, it was all things I already know, but it still went by really fast, cause I wrote down everything that the prof said anyways. I didn't have class this afternoon so I had a lot of choices in deciding what I want to do and where I want to do for the rest of the day. So I decided to go to Rockland, and purchased my tennis racket! =D The guy that was selling me the racket was a tennis coach! So he knew his stuff! I sounded once again totally retarded in Sport Expert. haha.. Then, I went to have lunch and study at the food court, I was able to get half of what I've planned done before I felt really sleepy (maybe cause I ate too much at lunch) so I wanted to go back home, but my bus only came in 30min, so I got myself a pair of gloves! =D My hands will no more freeze outside! After I got home, I received many emails from the ppl that I messaged this morning, and they are so encouraging. I love my friends, church, sisters in Christ, everyone so much! God blessed me so much with these people and I am so happy! On top of that, the day is not over yet, I can still do so much things. Today, I learnt that it's good to have determination in accomplishing one's goal, but what's even more important than that is self-discipline, it is the reason why most of the people have dreams, but fail. Self-discipline is against our own will and it's often not the easy way around, so we always manage to avoid it, but then we fail at achieving the goal. God is faithful, and His grace is more than sufficient.

Awake

I didn't feel like waking up this morning cause I was so incredibly tired, but after getting up, I feel more refreshed than ever. I know that whatever the outcomes, I'll keep up what I have planned and work hard to achieve my goals. I won't allow me disappointing myself. That's pretty much all I can come up with now, the rest of things are all just a blur. Not sure of what love is anymore, nor what compability is no more.. Everything that I was certain that I know what they are stop making sense. So right now, since I am very uncertain, I will make sure that I just stick to one thing and try my best to make it right. God will take care of everything, I just have to work hard.

God's strength won't disappoint me either.